How Childhood Patterns of Trauma Cause Anxiety at Work — And How Therapy Can Help You Thrive

I know it sounds cliché when a therapist says, “Let’s talk about your childhood.”

But there’s a reason it’s such a common phrase — your past does shape your present, especially when it comes to stress, anxiety, and how you show up at work.

Many high achievers think about their childhood sometimes and tell themselves things like:

“That was years ago, it doesn’t affect me now.”

“My parents were good — at least they weren’t alcoholics.”

“I just need to toughen up.”

All of those statements can feel true — and yet, something deeper might still be affecting you.

In therapy, we call this a dialectic — when two seemingly opposite things are true at the same time.

Your parents might have loved you and emotionally neglected you.

They might have wanted the best for you and left you feeling like you were never enough.

Human beings are complex — rarely all good or all bad.

So how does this actually show up in your day-to-day life? Let’s look at a fictional example.

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Meet Rob — A High Achiever with Hidden Anxiety

Rob grew up with a mom who demanded excellence. A’s were the standard. B’s meant disappointment and losing privileges.

That pressure made Rob an amazing student — and also incredibly anxious.

He went on to excel in college and eventually built a successful company with ten employees. On paper, Rob was an exceptional entrepreneur and a success story. But underneath it all, he was terrified of failure.

Every morning, he woke up with a pit in his stomach — convinced his company might collapse, even though there was no real evidence that it would.

When Rob’s therapist asked about is childhood and the demands from his mother, he said:

“My mom just wanted me to do well — I don’t think that’s related to my anxiety.”

But as his therapist helped him dig deeper, Rob realized something: he had learned to equate success with love and failure with rejection. That childhood pattern had followed him into adulthood.

Through EMDR therapy— one of the most well-researched treatments for trauma in the world— Rob was able to process those early experiences and form a new belief:

“I can do my best without having to be perfect.”

The anxiety that had once driven him started to quiet down. His work became more sustainable. He started to breathe again.

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Does This Sound Like You?

Maybe you’re the high achiever who seems to have it all together — but inside, you feel anxious, restless, or burned out and you don't know why (check out my blog on unknown anxiety).

You’ve tried willpower, logic, and self-help books, but something deeper still feels off.

If that’s you, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to live with that anxiety forever. Old emotional patterns don’t just disappear because we’re adults. They show up in how we handle stress, relationships, and success.

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Does this sound like you?

Are you an entrepreneur or high achiever who feels anxious — even though life looks great on the outside? Do you feel like something from the past is holding you back, but you can’t quite name it?

I can help you.

I specialize in working with high-achieving professionals and entrepreneurs who struggle with anxiety rooted in old patterns that no longer serve them. I’m EMDR-certified and also offer EMDR intensives and SSP therapy for deeper, faster breakthroughs.

You don’t have to keep carrying the pressure of being perfect. If you’re ready to stop running on anxiety and start living with peace and confidence, reach out today.

Mark Allsman, LPC | EMDR Certified | SSP Certified | EMDR Consultant in Training

Now seeing clients in Arvada, Colorado

720-464-5878

sacredplacecounseling.co