2 Myths About Therapy That Keep High Performers From Getting Help

Myth #1: Therapy will tell me to be more self-compassionate — and that’s just weakness.

I’ve had several clients tell me they feel like they just need to be harder on themselves — that being tough and pushing through is the answer. And honestly, I get it.

In the business world, when you’re stressed or overwhelmed, you don’t usually slow down or take time off — you find ways to push through. You optimize, get efficient, and just get it done. So if you’re not moving as fast as you’d like or you feel like you’re falling behind, it makes sense that your brain says, “I just need to work harder.”

But the thing is, self-compassion actually helps you perform better and recover faster. Research shows it increases motivation, resilience, and emotional clarity — and helps people stay grounded under stress.

And if you’re wondering, “Okay, but who did this research?” I love that kind of thinking. I work best with people who are curious and data-driven. These are studies from solid researchers in psychology with PhD’s and solid research methodologies.

Here’s a practical way to think about it: imagine a close friend who’s exhausted and overwhelmed at work. Would you tell them to “suck it up and do better”? Probably not. You’d say something like, “That sounds tough. Sound like you’re doing your best. Maybe it’s time to take a vacation or look for more support at work.”

That’s compassion — and it helps people calm down, reset, and move forward.

But when we talk to ourselves, we usually skip that step. We double down, criticize harder, and pile on more pressure. And when that happens, we have compounded the problem. Not only do we feel overwhelmed but now we also feel ashamed of our limited capacity. We end up more drained, more anxious, and less productive. Self-compassion isn’t weakness — it’s what allows you to stay clear-headed and resilient when things get tough.

Myth #2: If I start therapy, I’ll have to go every week for the rest of my life.

This one’s super common. A lot of people think therapy means signing up for a weekly, never-ending commitment. But that’s not how I work.

To understand where this idea came from we have to go back to the beginning days of therapy. Sigmund Freud, who is often considered the father of modern therapy, would meet with his clients weekly and explore many details of their childhood. As he learned more about their childhood he could analyze their subconscious behaviors and motivations. Then this would help clients to understand themselves. This process would take decades. Some therapists still have this approach and methodology, but that’s not the case for many therapists including myself.

I focus on helping people heal deeply and efficiently. I want therapy to make a real difference fast, not drag on forever.

That’s one reason I use EMDR therapy, one of the most researched and effective therapies for trauma in the world. By using EMDR, I can help you to have your conscious mind and subconscious mind talk to each other and resolve your emotional issues in a way that makes sense to you specifically. It helps to turn down the emotional intensity of those negative emotions that feel really persistent. EMDR is able to help you resolve your issues in a fast and deep way (To Learn More about EMDR click here).

And if you’re someone who likes to get results quickly, I offer EMDR Intensives — a focused approach where we can make six months’ worth of progress in just a few days. (Read more about EMDR Intensives here).

I also use Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) — a powerful, neuroscience-based tool that helps calm the nervous system and get your body out of survival mode (sometimes called fight, flight, or freeze mode) and into a place of regular peace. (Read more about SSP here)

The bottom line: therapy doesn’t have to be endless. It can be focused, intentional, and efficient — and it can help you get your life, energy, and relationships back faster than you think.

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Final Thoughts

If you’re a high achiever, it’s easy to believe therapy is just about talking about your feelings or slowing down and won’t be helpful — or that it’ll take years before anything changes. But that’s not the case.

The truth is, therapy — especially EMDR and SSP — can help you uncover and heal the deeper things holding you back so you can lead, love, and live more freely.

If that sounds like the kind of work you’ve been wanting to do, I’d love to help.

You can learn more about EMDR therapy, intensives, or trauma-informed approaches at sacredplacecounseling.co.

Or just reach out — I’m happy to talk through what might be the best next step for where you’re at.

Sacred Place Counseling

Mark Allsman, MA, LPC — EMDR Certified | SSP Certified

mark@sacredplacecounseling.co

720-464-5878

Lakewood, CO | sacredplacecounseling.co

Research on Self Compassion

https://self-compassion.org/the-research/

(There are over 60 different research articles on this one page for you to explore!)