3 Signs to Look for When Looking for a Therapist

Looking for a therapist in Lakewood, Colorado (or really anywhere) can feel overwhelming. You’re not just trying to find a mental health professional—you’re looking for someone you can actually trust with the hardest, deepest, and most vulnerable parts of your life. That’s no small thing. It takes a lot of courage to even start searching, and if you’re here reading this, you’ve already taken a huge first step. 

As an EMDR-certified trauma therapist, (learn more about EMDR here) I’ve heard a lot of stories from clients about how therapy didn’t always work out in the past. Let’s be honest, sometimes therapists are unethical and downright hurtful.  Finding the right person really matters. The research shows that one of the most important predictive factors of success in therapy is the quality of the therapeutic relationship! That’s why I want to give you a simple, practical guide for what to look for when you’re trying to decide if a therapist is a good match for you. 

1. You Feel Safe with Them 

The number one thing in therapy is safety. If you don’t feel safe, it’s almost impossible to really open up and do the deeper work. Feeling safe means you can share what’s really going on without fear of being judged, dismissed, or misunderstood. It also means you get the sense that your therapist actually cares—not just about the “facts” of your situation, but about how all of it is impacting you emotionally. 

Here’s the thing: it can take a little while to know if you feel safe. The first couple sessions can be awkward because the shame, guilt, or just the stress of telling your story might make it hard to settle in. But by the second or third session, you should have a pretty good sense of whether this is someone you feel emotionally safe with. 

2. They’re Confident They Can Help You 

A good therapist doesn’t just sit and listen—they bring hope into the room and they have a plan for how to address your struggles. Even when you can’t see a way forward, they should be able to communicate confidence that healing and change are possible. That doesn’t mean they’re promising immediate healing, but it does mean you feel like they have a solid sense of direction for how they can help. When you feel down and pessimistic about your issues, a good therapist can feel that discouragement with you and hold hope that you will be able heal and improve at the same time. Sometimes that timeline is longer than you’d like it to be, but change is possible.  

3. You’re Seeing Progress 

Therapy isn’t always fast, but within about a month, you should notice some small signs of progress. These signs are often small, but most clients that I work with talk about how they feel better and more hopeful about their future. It might look like your mood lifting a bit, your stress level going down, having a little more clarity about what’s going on, or even just feeling more hopeful than when you started. Small shifts add up over time and it’s a helpful encouragement to keep doing the hard work when you see that you are indeed making progress. 

If you’re not noticing any progress, don’t just silently struggle—talk with your therapist about it. A healthy therapeutic relationship leaves space for honest conversations like that. Sometimes bringing it up clears the air and gets things back on track. Remember the importance of the therapeutic relationship? In a healthy relationship you can share your concerns and have them addressed. But if you’ve voiced your concerns and things don’t change, it’s okay to move on. The right therapist won’t take it personally—they’ll want you to get the help you truly need.

Putting It All Together 

Finding the right therapist is about more than just degrees, office décor, or insurance coverage. At the core, it comes down to three things: do you feel safe, do they communicate confidence, and are you actually seeing progress? If you can say yes to those three, you’re in a great place to do the kind of work that leads to real healing. 

If you’re in Lakewood, CO and looking for trauma therapy, EMDR intensives (learn more here), or the Safe and Sound Protocol (nervous system relaxation, learn more here), I’d be honored to walk with you on this journey. The right fit matters, and if it turns out I’m not that person, I’ll do my best to help you find someone who is. 

 Sacred Place Counseling 

Mark Allsman, MA, LPC • EMDR Certified • SSP Certified 

777 South Wadsworth Blvd #2-209, Lakewood, CO 80226 

 720-464-5878 |  sacredplacecounseling.co